10 Comments

  1. Henrietta
    September 7, 2021 @ 7:40 pm

    I don’t usually leave comments to anything, but I just want to tell you how inspiring you are to me. I’m in my seventies, and I sometimes think about how I will die. Your courageous and brave words in your blog make me feel more content about my own death—and give me inspiration to live life, now.

    Reply

    • Gerda Saunders
      September 9, 2021 @ 5:45 pm

      It is so wonderful to hear from you, Henrietta. Thanks so much for your very kind comments. It’s so good to hear from someone in the same life stage as I am and who has similar concerns on her mind. I certainly am not courageous or brave other than in the rare instances when I can momentarily–like you say–grasp onto and hold the inspiration to live NOW. I am very grateful, though, that my moments of apparent “braveness” means something to you and others who seek “contentment”–as you so beautifully put it–about our death and that of the people you love. I wish for you that you will keep living big and loving big until your last breath! Warmest wishes, Gerda

      Reply

  2. Carina
    September 8, 2021 @ 1:59 am

    Gerda what a beautifully written story about such an incredible love that you have with/for Uncle Peter.
    You two are an inspiration to everyone around you.

    I hope that your mood lifts… it is very hard to climb out of the depths of depression 🙁 But glad Uncle Peter is there to tie the ropes.

    Sending much love to you both!

    Reply

    • Gerda Saunders
      September 9, 2021 @ 5:56 pm

      So lovely to hear from you, Carina. Thanks for your generous comments about my and Peter’s relationship, which owes so much to luck, being in the right place at the right time, and the fact that one of us has always been able to see ahead to a better future when we were in difficult times. I also got your email a while ago with a photo of the blanket we sent you so long ago that i had forgotten about it! I love seeing your family growing and your excellent parenting that is resulting in such a beautiful (and handsome!) human being. Your remarks about depression makes me think that you, too, know that beast and how deep it can take a person down. It is fortunate that modern science (and of course ancient techniques like yoga and meditation, if life allows the time!; not to mention applications of love from those you love you) can help one “climb out”–as you so accurately say–toward embracing joy again. Wishing you and your lovely family just everything of the best as this year rolls to its end. Where does the time go? It seems to me that Daegan and my grandkids each seem to be in the next grade at school whenever I check!LOve Love Love

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  3. René Engelbrecht
    September 8, 2021 @ 7:52 am

    Al my mooiste wense vir jou en Peter. Vir my is jy ’n wonderlike voorbeeld van deursettingsvermoë en liefde. Dink so baie aan jou,

    Reply

    • Gerda Saunders
      September 11, 2021 @ 3:21 pm

      Baie dankie vir jou ondersteunende woorde, René. Jy is so ‘n lojale en liefdevolle vriendin, ek wens altyd dat ek jou beter leer ken het in ons skooldae en later in Suid_Afrika. Keep on living big, loving big.xoxox

      Reply

  4. Joan Wright
    September 9, 2021 @ 5:02 am

    I remember your wedding day so very well. It was at 8.00 am and you looked too beautiful.
    Ria sang so beautifully and we celebrated with a beautiful breakfast. How special to still be together and loving 50 years on.
    I delight in all our special memories my dear friend.
    Love you both so very much.
    Joan.

    Reply

    • Gerda Saunders
      September 11, 2021 @ 3:27 pm

      My dearest Joan, It is so wonderful that you were at our wedding and still remember it in so much detail. It was a lovely wedding, thanks to so many friends and family who made the reception possible and, of course, the love of you and the others who attended. I think of you so often, also when think about the death of a partner, your Derek, unrivaled for love, smarts, care, and fun. I am so very grateful that somehow I was lucky enough to become your friend in high school and forever after. Love you so very much, and the lovely family you made. Gerda

      Reply

  5. Shen
    September 9, 2021 @ 2:14 pm

    Dearest friend I’m relieved you were able to open up and feel Peters love. His care is so blatantly present and clear for us outsiders to observe that when you talk about your needs being “annoying” to him, or you being a “burden” to him I have a hard time taking what you are saying seriously. I apologize for that, it’s just that neither AJ nor I have every caught any whiff of resentment about helping you coming from Peter. He ALWAYS puts your happiness and well-being at the top of his own well-being list, just like you do with him! Watching you guys managing your amazing marriage through all these years has shown me a type of deep and active love that I’d never seen before, freely given by each of you. I celebrate it. You can float in what you’ve created. xoxoxox

    Reply

    • Gerda Saunders
      September 11, 2021 @ 3:39 pm

      Thanks so much, Dearest Friend, for taking time from your grandkid heaven to get back to me! Thanks for all your supportive comments. I know that ,as you say, even the best of friends like you and AJ don’t , as you say so precisely, don’t “catch any whiff of resentment about helping you coming from Peter. He ALWAYS puts your happiness and well-being at the top of his own well-being list.” I think that is the very problem: he does EVERYTHING for me and does not look after his own needs an emotions as he should. Daily I am les and less of a help for him–today he was tired after a busy afternoon, so I told him to sit down on our couch and rest and that I would make him a cup of our foamy, milky coffee. I kept asking for instructions as I was making it and thought that he had nailed it. However, when he tasted it, it was cold. I had heated the milk, but forgot to switch the kettle on…While that is funny, it is just on illustration of how I make a gesture of love but then cannot follow through in real life! I am so glad I have you as my “therapist” to help me stay as sane as I can be at this stage.. I love your “blessing” sentence: “You can float in what you’ve created.” I can only double it and send it back to you–“You can float in the love you’ve created.” That has been your master oeuvre, beyond and also included in your writing and other talents. A jillion hearts to you!

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